Diamonds are Black

Update for week ended 21 January 2011

The high profile guests had started arriving and their swish cars were driving onto the porch of the Presidential Palace. The red carpet was well trampled that evening as the stilettos and the brogues stepped gingerly out of the limousines and walked up the sweeping staircase to the main entrance. This was a big party. James stepped out, adjusted his bow-tie and walked right in. He entered the grand hall where scores of people were milling around with crystal glasses in their hands, making small talk. James walked straight up to the lady in red. She wore a blonde wig, blunt cut, and her feather boa hung loosely from her arm. He walked up to her, initially in quick steps and then slowed down as he approached her, whispered something into her ear and walked right ahead into the corridor to the north of the hall which had the marble steps that took you to the quarters on the first floor. There was no-one around, it was a wide corridor lined with pictures and paintings set wide apart and the ceiling height was so vast, that the wide distance between the frames did not look so wide when seen from a distance. As James stepped onto the stairway, he heard footsteps behind him. He quickened his steps and climbed faster, and at the head of the stairs, he was met with a rude shock. One of the security guards in black questioned his movements. James looked around furtively and from the corner of his eye, saw a flash of red dash across the white marble floor and before he knew it, a shot whizzed past him, it just went “zzooopp”. The silencer was on. Lady Red cocked her head signaling him to move ahead, as she gingerly looked around to ensure no-one heard the thud of a falling dead security guard. James started to sprint into the hall ahead and headed to the largest door at the opposite end of the staircase head. It was ornate, mahogany from Madagascar. Strangely, it had a handle, but no latch or lock. How was he to open it? He fumbled and fiddled as he heard a few harder footsteps approaching. These were definitely not stilettos on a marathon, but reinforcement for the Man in Black who was no more. He was sweating and pulled up his sleeve to reveal the expensive watch on his wrist. He turned the dial and pressed the winding screw, letting out the ultra-violet blue laser to scan the door for a hidden lock. He was right, there was none, this was a decoy. And just as he was about to turn, four burly men in black suits and matching revolvers were standing, aiming ready to shoot and kill. James bumped his right shoulder on the door-handle and as he felt a taser-like electric shock, his quick thinking brain had the idea of the moment – he pointed the watch to the men in black and unbuckled it, lightly flicked it out and it detonated into a mini smoke bomb. James was not visible, shots rang, this time only a few went “zzoopp”… But a metallic ricochet set off the door opener, as what was a wall till then, just slid aside open. The men in black ran forward but gingerly, as the smoke stung their eyes, syn-Propanethial S-oxide (C3H6OS) working its way. This onion extract always did the trick. Just as the four men approached the now open wall, an unseen hand got one unawares and before he could react, the fingers had twisted a nerve on the neck. The man just slumped down dead. Before the others could react, similar fate lay in store for them. The smoke screen started clearing and a shadow emerged out walking up to the Lady in Red standing at the bottom of the staircase. With one arm around her slim waist and another on his gun, he made that trademark arm-cross and his furrowed brows would make any woman swoon for his charming looks. She drew her lips closer to his and before he could kiss her, he shot her and let her drop to the ground. She wanted the black diamond, but he ensured she would not get it. It was safe in the hands of Secret Agent 007.  

The D Boyz were missing their dose of Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. They wanted the heady dose of suspense, thrill a minute twists, turns, molls, money, palatial residences, gunshots. They got it all dramatized on D Street, as the SENSEX went into a spiraling 100 point rocket launcher, to be shot down into the ocean to depths of 200 points below the surface and other such thrills. So even when the day looked good, it ended bad, just like some Bond Girls – who start off as aides, but are glamorous spies ready to outdo James and sell the crown. The dizzying action all ended till the curtains fell on Friday (today) and the Credits had just one number emblazoned – 007… (SENSEX ended this week’s ride at 19007). So if the Presidential Palace hosted the change in cabinet ministers, it had its shares of spills and spoils. The onions still did their trick as they continued to sting the common man in his eyes with the natural syn-Propanietial S Oxide (C3H6OS).

The trendy bar was not packed, but not empty either. James sauntered in, sat at the bar stool and was about to order his drink. Before he could even say Martini, it was there for him. James had never been here before, so how could the bar tender have known? He looked at the perfectly made drink, looked up at the bar tender and recognized those brandy eyes. So liquid, so luminous, and so seductive. He smiled that wicked crooked charming smile, and picked up the olive. He raised his right eyebrow and read what looked like a wrinkle on the pickled black olive – on it was engraved her home address.  

I hope all of you have a rollicking weekend. At times, one needs some thrill to just add that chutzpah to a humdrum life where tomatoes, onions and other such veggies keep screaming out for attention!

Have a nice weekend. Cheers…

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