TV Addicts – anyone?

 Update for week ended 3 June 2011

As the rotund Saas, mother-in-law glared at her Dev-Raani’s, sister-in-law’s Bahu, daughter-in-law, her own Bahu  meekly brought in the tray of hot chai and naashta, tea and evening snacks for all. Dev-Raani’s Bahu was chewing her lips giving dirty looks to the Saas’ Bahu, as her own thoughts could not be heard by anyone in the room, except the millions of viewers who don’t miss this daily soap, come rain or shine. So if you want to know how to make Gujarati Daal, don’t go looking for that ever smiling chef who runs a cookery show on TV, but catch it on the daily soap – and it does not stop with Daal, sometimes a disciplinarian Daadi, grandmother, would supervise a prospective daughter-in-laws Kheer, rice and milk pudding, making skills. And how else would the contemporary Indian woman know what to do on a Vata Savitri Vrat (a festival seeking the long life for the husband – immortalized by the Mythological Savitri-Satyavan tale), like avoid salt in one’s food. Karva Chauth is so passe’ as effeminate and Swiss loving Movie Directors have done it to death. But will all this still keep an Indian TV viewer glued to their LCD and LED screens? Or will they need some eccentric singers and loud musicians to judge auto-rickshaw drivers and sweepers and vegetable vendors singing Hindi film songs to attract the kohl lined eyeballs of the Indian TV viewer? Or will some movie star who has not had a hit movie in recent times have to drape pythons around his neck mouthing inane nursery rhymes do the trick? The fickle TV viewer who perhaps is looking for wholesome entertainment, was busy watching colourful cricketers and their antics on and off the field for a large part of this summer. And with the monsoons threatening to thunder in soon, staying indoors may get boring. So the viewer is hoping that the TV would have some decent fare that can be “enjoyed”. Iffy times for the Indian TV viewer.

The D Boyz are not big fans of TV – or maybe they are. So when some woman in a cape said something sinister about a southern TV Channel, the Boyz went hysterical – they lopped off a quarter of the value of the channel…. And switched off spicy airline preferences; and even when the Big Daddy of the Indian Industry went to meet his shareholders, the Boyz did not like what they heard, and shook up the SENSEX. Perhaps the Lady who accompanied him (who was a regular on TV wearing her blue T shirt and trademark glasses) was not her usual cheery self ready to hug the Boyz, she prefers bearded and turbaned cricketers. But not all of the TV types were lost on the Boyz. The Boyz were partial to the soaps that lather a lot, the soap preferred by all filmstars, and the Boyz left no lever unturned with their thumbs up. So whether it was a thumbs down sometimes, and cheers at others, the topsy turvy world of the remote less D Street saw the markets add 110 points from the previous week to 18376.

A child-bride’s trials and tribulations, one would think, would end when she grew up and her considerate parents and in-laws reconcile with the rude granny. But no – the show must go on. And forgotten characters from their past catch up to extend the glycerine induced cries. And it beats me how, illiterate dacoits wearing black tilaks, forehead marks, can suddenly become sophisticated up-scale Delhi-ites. Are the real Vasant Vihar Walas screaming out from roof-tops that this TV character is actually a Mumbaikar and not an uppity Dilliwala – never mind the “Delhi-Shelhi style-shyle dialogue-shialogue”. Sometimes, the stories on TV are so absurd, that I wish I get amnesiac and don’t remember any of this. Wait! I don’t even want that – because this is also a track doing the round…. Help – get me the remote control and let me switch to Krishi Darshan – Monsoon is around the corner.

Have a nice and safe weekend ahead… And for those TV addicts – my apologies if I hurt any of your or your favourite TV character’s sentiments. It was not intentional.



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